still guilty.

i realized, shortly before i turned 30, that it wasn’t a good idea to keep waiting for my life to begin. for example – i would constantly fantasize about the things i would do when i was out of debt (turns out i would turn around and get right back IN debt, will ya lookit that). i would dream about having the fashionable clothes i wanted when i got thin.

on and on.

and it’s not that i’m necessarily lacking anything. or that i ever was.

but i still find myself saying things like this. when i have my own place, i will cook dinner every night. when i am thin, i will finally wear the clothes i like. when i am out of debt, i will be able to travel a little.

what about now? how about now? i’m a creative person. i need to find a way to scratch these itches now.

this is my life. i only get one.

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2 Comments

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2 responses to “still guilty.

  1. I bet you'd be amazed what kind of cooking you could produce with a hot plate, a toaster oven, and a mini-fridge. Heck, you could even write a blog or a book about the experience and become a famous author. =)

  2. I get this. Completely. But I love the admission of the fact that this is the only life we get, and we've got to make it work. NOW. Great post, little Amelia!

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