life has been pretty interesting here lately.
and by interesting i mean, mostly sunny with a 95% chance of rain.
i have spent most of the last 6 months with my head down, doing what i had to do to get by. and i wasn’t. getting by, that is. my financial situation was grim, to say the least.
then i thought i got a better-paying job. and then there were complications.
so i still work at the dirty store. next week i will be back to wiping up coffee spills and counting cigarettes and squinting to see the light at the end of the tunnel.
of course, the last three months have been made much better and even beyond bearable to a place i would call “happy” due to the presence of a new man-friend in my life. boy, is his home planet gonna be pissed when they realize that he got away. all i have to say is… if you don’t have it, and you want it… just wait. i went on my first real date ever about 3 months ago. eric is my first boyfriend. i never, EVER thought that i could find someone as nice as he is. he’s a HUGE dork, which, i think goes without saying, is one of my biggest requirements. he’s tall – 6 feet. he loves to study constellations. he looks kind of like an army guy from a 60s movie, but in a good way. he listens to me, advises me, and holds me when necessary. he sees potential in me that i can’t see in myself. he thinks i’m smart – and he is absolutely brilliant.
before we got together, i was trying so hard to not like him. i kept telling myself that a transition is no time to take on a new crush. i needed to get settled first, get a routine and then… well… if he fit into it, i’d think about it. but around the weekend of the superbowl, i lost all control. i asked him, point blank, if he liked me. i figured i would at least get it over with – he could tell me to move along, and i would. instead, he said that he did, indeed, “like me.” and he said a bunch of other stuff too… and then we started dating.
i am so suspicious of people like me. i would meet them, hear their story, and get annoyed. “it’s more work than that,” i would think, judgmentally. “you don’t just MEET someone. you work and work at a friendship, and if you’re lucky, that friendship will sprout into more. now get digging!” with eric, i definitely worked on a friendship, but it didn’t take long for our feelings to evolve.
and, looking back, a transition was the perfect time for me to get into a relationship. he was able to help ground me and hold my hand during some of the rocky patches… and for that, i am so thankful.