yesterday was my sixth day straight of working. right around the time that i was pricing individual peach-flavored blunts, i realized that i was DONE.
since i have started working at the time-and-soul sucking dirty store, i have had zero energy to do anything i like when i get out of work. not much crochet, not much reading, not much bloggy bloggy, not much baking or cooking.
right now i am watching the reflection of snowglobe snow in my glossy-screen monitor. i didn’t even realize that it was snowing. as some people would say, “it’s really coming down.”
i am also done with winter.
it makes me a little more dreary than usual. i get sad and frustrated much more often than usual in the winter, especially in the new york winter. new york winter is at least twice as long as nashville winter. and it actually gets cold. like, really cold compared to nashville. i have actually started looking forward to thirty-degree days. yesterday it was something like -9. and i realized that i was done.
spring starts in something like three weeks, but that means nothing here. sometimes the worst snow of the entire winter happens in march and april. when nashvillians will be sitting on the steps of the parthenon eating lunch with their shoes off on sunday afternoons, i will still be wearing a coat and scarf and cursing the cold.
thankfully, i have an awesome boyfriend. the other day in the car i had the teensiest little meltdown during the second straight day of thick gray cotton-cloud cover. and he said that it wasn’t my fault that i was sad, because my body hasn’t been getting any sun. and because of the lack of sun, my body couldn’t make certain things happen. and that i should take it easy on myself, and not beat myself up for feeling sad, but that i should just accept these things and keep on moving. and a few hours later, we were in my car, looking at a partially clear night sky, and he was pointing out pollux and castor and gemini, the big dipper, sirius, regulus and leo.
and i have to paraphrase him wildly, because he is so smart and science-y that sometimes i only can catch a general idea of what he is trying to say. but he is very patient and he loves to teach me new things. and then i love to make them into over-simplified metaphors and try to make them stand for something else. and then we look at each other and realize how cool it is to be science and poetry, together and making sense of things.
with this? i am not done. i am just beginning.
not to mention, as i’m wrapping up this post… the sun just came out. while it is snowing. fan-tastic. i’m going to go look for a snowbow.