wintry mix

tonight i went with stan to babysit a couple of kids for the whole evening. they were fun and funny, and they reminded me of the Z boys from buffalo. we danced around, played connect four and sorry, and watched more spongebob squarepants than i could handle. i loved every second of it.

sometimes, when i’m around kids that are under 10? i feel like, “if my life were more on track i might have a son this cool.” i have wanted sons for a long time, at least two of them. is it weird to admit out loud? i don’t know. sometimes i feel like i missed something, especially when the christmas card season begins and the pictures of families start pouring into my mailbox – families with mommies who are my age or younger.

i don’t regret anything i have done or any choices i have made, but i sometimes wonder if i should have made a different choice here or there anyway.

rambly, huh? maybe i should save that stuff for my dear diary. you know, the one that’s NOT on the internet.

so, we have this big storm warning. considering that i called in to work the last time it snowed, i am extremely nonchalant about this big storm a’comin’. i feel like it’s not going to come, or we will just get a couple of inches instead of the near ten that they are predicting.

i can hear sleet hitting my windows now, but for some reason i just feel like this storm is not going to come.

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2 Comments

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2 responses to “wintry mix

  1. Man, oh, man. When I started addressing Christmas cards to all these young marrieds, I was like, “Where did I go wrong?” I don’t know that I went wrong, but if I were to have any doubts, it would be during the holidays.

    Yikes.

  2. J

    I understand the longing that occurs over the holidays. I feel it now more than ever. Sometimes I wonder if my life would’ve been easier if I had never known what I am now missing (and don’t wish to break my heart finding again).

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