the snow has an icy mask
but it’s melting back

the greens
are starting to show.

forty-one degrees
never felt so warm.

yesterday the sun came
today it did not.

today was drizzle and
parking lot drivers

i left the house
i drove dad’s minivan
i drove it to the bookstore
i choked on hellos
and eyestares
i drove another twenty minutes
i ordered the house blend
i did not make small talk
i used pencil
i wrote numbers
i used eraser
i erased numbers
(sip. sip. sip.)
i pretended not to eavesdrop
(a girl and her brother)
i furrowed my brow
he fumbled
he grabbed her hand
he said i don’t want to get on that plane
he said i love you
she said stay out of trouble
he left
she looked at her boyfriend then
she sat down
he said you give me hope
i tapped my temple with a pencil
i tried not to cry
(sip. sip.)
he left for work
she went outside
she left her drink
she came back
i scratched pencil on paper
i checked my phone
i put my coat on
i almost said goodbye
i looked at him
(in the hat, by the door.)
he looked at me
i lifted the latch
i closed the door behind me
i jammed my right hand into my jeans pocket
i walked back
i drove back
i unlocked the door
i came home

tomorrow, another chance
the sun could shine
or the moments could whip

i could want to stay
i could wish to go
i could wonder about

i could

go to breakfast with dad
go visit grandma
crochet my pink scarf
cheat at more sudoku

and enjoy the chill
it never lasts


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